Is it possible to spoil a child under 1 year of age?
A small child cries when he feels bad. He has no desire at all to tyrannize his parents, he just can’t tell them in any other way that he has problems (he wants to eat, his tummy hurts, he’s teething, etc.). In order for the baby to form a favorable impression of the world (which is very important for his further development), not a single request for help should be left unattended. As psychologists note, the mother must respond to these requests with lightning speed. In their opinion, the faster the mother comes to the child’s aid, the less the baby’s nervous system suffers and the more favorable the baby’s impression of his new environment.
In his books, B. Spock, once popular in our country, advises not to pick up a child and not to play with him too much - this supposedly leads to spoilage and interferes with the development of independence. Alas, these tips (as, indeed, much else in Spock’s books) do not stand up to criticism in the light of the latest psychological data. It is tactile contact (when the child is in her arms), the calm, gentle voice of the mother that gives the child confidence, relieves tension and thereby creates the prerequisites for independence.
It is advisable for all parents to learn one simple thing: there can never be too much love and affection.
In B. Spock's book "Baby and Child Care" I was surprised to find the following lines: "So, if your baby cries at the end of the waking period after feeding, then first assume that he is tired and put him in bed. Let him cry 15-30 minutes..." I don’t know, maybe there are parents who were able to calmly watch their child tear himself up for 15-30 minutes, but I personally can’t do it. And why? Isn't it better to calm him down, help him?
One of the common myths is that screaming strengthens the lungs. Even if this is so, what is more important to you - the absence of stress in a child or lungs like a submariner?
If a child screams, then you need to calm him down, and not wait until he is silent. If this is not done, then this can lead to a variety of serious developmental disorders of the baby and, first of all, to the undermining of his trust in the world. Take the child in your arms, speak kind words to him, turn on light, calm music, place him on you so that he can hear your heartbeat.
When calming the child, you should be in an even emotional state and, as it were, radiate your love for the baby. This is the best way to calm a screaming child.
By the way, studies conducted by psychologists have shown that children who saw a lot of warmth and affection at an early age have a stronger future marriage.
Recently, all over the world, attitudes towards infant crying have been changing - they have begun to recognize the child’s right to demand attention. Chinese psychologists Chen Huai and Chen Yu, in their guide to parenting and care, “Growing Together,” write: “In the first six months of a child’s life, it is impossible to spoil him... he cries because he wants to be held, to be taken care of, to they showed him love." They believe that the traditional practice, which has developed in remote Chinese villages, when a baby is tightly swaddled and left for a considerable time, not paying attention to his cry, only brings harm: “This has a detrimental effect on both the body and the soul. Do not listen to good advice , but rather follow your own instinct: each child needs an individual approach."