Splitting

Splitting: A defense mechanism that hides emotional conflicts

Interacting with other people can be complex and cause us to have different emotional reactions. In some cases, to cope with these emotional conflicts, we resort to a defense mechanism known as splitting. Splitting is a psychological process in which we take people and situations to extremes, dividing them into good and bad, without considering their positive and negative qualities.

Like black and white thinking, splitting limits our ability to see and understand the complexity and diversity of the world around us. Instead of recognizing that every person has their own strengths and weaknesses, we tend to idealize some and demonize others. This leads to a distortion of reality and the creation of illusory ideas about people and situations.

Splitting often stems from internal conflicts, fears and unpleasant emotions that we do not want to face. Instead of accepting and recognizing these emotions, we categorize people as “good” and “bad” to make our lives easier and avoid unpleasant feelings. For example, a person experiencing deep envy or jealousy may categorize the person they envy as “bad,” ignoring all their positive qualities. This helps reduce psychological pressure, but often prevents conflict resolution and creates further relationship problems.

Cleavage can also be associated with low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. A person who does not feel valued or loved enough may seek to idealize others to bolster their self-esteem. At the same time, he may only pay attention to negative aspects of himself and others in order to confirm his negative beliefs about himself.

Splitting can lead to problems in relationships and social adjustment. If we don't see people and situations in their fullness and complexity, we may miss opportunities for understanding, growth, and collaboration. Additionally, persistent splitting can lead to increased tension, conflict, and isolation.

How to overcome splitting? First of all, it is important to be aware of this defense mechanism and its negative impact on our lives and relationships. Mindfulness—the ability to be in the present moment and observe your thoughts, emotions, and reactions without judgment—will help you develop emotional intelligence and self-awareness. This will help us notice when we tend to split and open ourselves to a more objective and holistic view of people and situations.

It is also important to work on developing self-esteem and self-awareness. By recognizing our strengths and weaknesses, we can overcome the need to idealize or demonize ourselves and others. By developing an understanding of our emotions and conflicts, we can find healthier ways to solve problems and interact with others.

It is also important to strive for empathy and understanding of other people. By recognizing that each person is complex and unique, we can be more open to their experiences and perspectives. Practicing active listening, asking questions, and seeking to understand the motives and emotions of others will help us create deeper, more meaningful connections.

Splitting is a defense mechanism we use to cope with emotional conflicts. However, it limits our understanding and interaction with the world around us. By developing mindfulness, self-awareness and empathy, we can overcome splitting and create more harmonious and understanding relationships with ourselves and others.

Splitting: a defense mechanism that helps overcome emotional conflicts

Splitting is a psychological defense mechanism that people use to overcome emotional conflicts. In this case, people classify some people as good and do not notice their negative traits, and other people as bad, without seeing anything positive in them.

Splitting can manifest itself in a variety of situations, such as when a person experiences strong emotions associated with anxiety, fear or anger. In such a situation, he may begin to make categorical conclusions about people or events around him in order to reduce his anxiety or avoid unpleasant feelings.

However, when using splitting, people do not view themselves or others as complex but consistent images. They do not take into account that the people around us can have both positive and negative traits, and that constantly dividing people into good and bad can lead to wrong conclusions and problems in personal relationships.

As an example, consider the relationship of parents to their children. Often parents can perceive their children only through the prism of good or bad qualities. For example, if a child behaves well, parents may consider him perfect and not notice his shortcomings. But if a child makes mistakes or behaves badly, then parents can dramatically change their attitude towards him, perceiving him only through negative qualities.

In addition, splitting can lead to problems in personal relationships. For example, if a person perceives his partner only as good or only as bad, this can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings.

To avoid problems associated with splitting, it is important to learn to see people and events in their entirety and not draw categorical conclusions based on only one aspect. It is also important to be open to new things and not be closed to the opinions of other people in order to understand their views and motives. Communicating with other people and understanding their opinions will help develop empathy and understanding, which in turn will help you avoid incorrect conclusions and conflicts.

Splitting: A Defense Mechanism for Coping with Emotional Conflicts

In the complex world of interpersonal relationships and emotional experiences, people often face conflicts that cause them uncertainty and discomfort. In such situations, a psychological defense mechanism known as “splitting” or “splitting” comes to the rescue. Splitting is a strategy in which people divide the world into extremes, exaggerating the positive or negative aspects of other people, themselves, or the environment, while ignoring all contradictions and complexities.

When we use the splitting mechanism, we tend to perceive some people in an entirely positive light, without noticing their negative traits. Such people become “good” to us and we strive to maintain close relationships with them, relying on their support and affection. We may idealize them, see only their strengths, seek confirmation only of positive traits and behavior, ignoring any negative aspects.

On the other hand, splitting can also manifest itself in relation to other people whom we incorrectly classify as “bad”. In this case, we become so focused on their shortcomings, weaknesses, and negative traits that we fail to see anything positive about them. We can easily become angry, resentful, or even hateful toward these people without recognizing their merits or opportunities for change.

However, it is important to note that the splitting mechanism is based on simplifying reality and distorting perception. Life and people cannot always be divided into clear categories of “good” and “bad”. In reality, most people and situations have complex and contradictory characteristics. Using splitting can help us deal with emotional conflicts, but at the same time it limits our understanding and interaction with others.

Understanding the mechanism of splitting can be useful for self-observation and the development of emotional intelligence. When we realize that we tend to over-idealize or demonize other people, we can ask ourselves, “What aspects am I ignoring or overlooking? What might be difficult or confusing about this situation?” Such reflective questions will help us assess the situation more objectively and develop a more flexible and emotionally mature attitude towards others.

Identifying splitting and recognizing its impact on our perceptions also helps us better understand ourselves. Often we can find that splitting manifests itself not only in relation to other people, but also in relation to our own “I”. We may tend to idealize or self-criticize, ignoring our own shortcomings or qualities.

The development of self-awareness and self-reflection allows us to become aware of these mechanisms and strive for a more objective and holistic vision of ourselves and the world around us. This requires a willingness to self-criticize, an openness to new information, and a willingness to see complexity and contradiction.

However, it is important to note that splitting can be a defense mechanism that helps us temporarily cope with emotional conflicts and stress. Splitting can be beneficial in some cases, but long-term use of this mechanism can hinder our relationships and our growth. Therefore, it is important to develop more flexible strategies for dealing with emotions and conflict, such as self-regulation, emotional awareness and empathy.

In summary, splitting is a psychological mechanism that helps people overcome emotional conflicts by dividing the world into extremes. It can be useful in certain situations, but it also limits our understanding and interaction with others. Developing self-awareness and emotional intelligence helps us become aware of these mechanisms and strive for a more objective and holistic view of ourselves and the world around us, promoting more harmonious and empathetic relationships.