How can a single mother find strength for a fulfilling life?

In a situation where a woman has to raise a child alone, her strength is spent not only on the fact that at the same time she needs to earn a living and have time to take care of herself and the child, but also on experiencing resentment towards a man, fear and anxiety about the future, shame for that she was alone (abandoned, or did not keep, or chose the wrong man) and guilt towards the child. These experiences are very exhausting and deprive of vital energy. In such a situation, it is important to build a support system for yourself, both in life and in relationships.

Firstly, mom is not left alone in the whole world, it is very good if there are parents who support or substitute figures, if there are people with whom you can talk and get support.

Secondly, children grow up, the situation changes, over time more free time appears: kindergarten, then school, and then completely different questions arise. If you immediately imagine what kind of “horror” awaits you during the first 18 years of a child’s life, then you really give up, but if you deal with the difficulties as they come, then this is a completely feasible task. It is important not to focus only on education, not to make it the mission of your life. You must not forget about yourself: arrange your space, communicate with different people, remember that there are men in the world and new relationships are possible. Remember that the greatest resource for the baby will be a healthy and happy mother.

How to cope with social pressure and the stigma of being a single mother

Nowadays, mothers who raise a child alone have become more common. It also happens that this is a woman’s conscious choice. Thus, it turns out that the pressure of society has decreased somewhat over the past decades, but still a feeling of inconsistency with generally accepted canons arises.

If you look at it, you are unlikely to be interested in the opinions of all the people on Earth. As a rule, we mean our social circle, and even more often our closest circle. It is from them that a woman initially learns that being a single mother is wrong. It is important to build relationships with people close and significant to you, talk, find out why they think it is bad, what experience they have, what they are going through. If you manage to find a common language with them, the reaction of society will not be perceived so painfully.

There is nothing shameful in being a “single mother” because situations in life are different. And sometimes it is better for parents to separate than to stay together because of or for the sake of the child.

Single mother communities

Often women who find themselves in a similar situation unite. Sometimes it is very important to be in a community of people who are experiencing or have experienced something similar. The feeling that you are not the only one reduces the number of experiences of shame and guilt. There is also an opportunity to share your experiences and fears about the future. But it is important to ensure that such communities do not interfere with openness to new relationships.